Every fall I have a tradition. It involves a tall, dark and handsome man and a cozy corner of the couch. On Halloween, you’ll find me watching Cary Grant at his greatest in Arsenic and Old Lace. Made during the 1940s as an adaptation from a hit play, the movie is one of my top five favorites. My favorite scene is when Grant is searching the house for something and lifts up the window seat to find…a dead body. The shock, confusion and sheer panic that cross his face is just delightful. It reminds me of the times I used to hide in closets and jump out screaming at my sister when she came by. I just can’t find good entertainment like that anymore.

As Grant runs around the rest of the movie trying not to get killed, committing his family to the asylum, being tied up, threatened and royally ticking off his new wife, I can’t help but sympathize with him. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to commit a family member to an institution at some point and end up wondering if maybe, just maybe, you’re the one that needs to go? I think my own family is out to get me half the time. I’ve had more black eyes, bloody noses, bruises and bumps from my two little boys in five years than I did with 20 years of sparring with adults in a ring. Kids are tricky, though. You don’t think something that little and cute can hurt you until BAM! They head-butt you. Then, they have the audacity to cry because you were so surprised you dropped them. All of a sudden you’re apologizing for letting your teeth get in the way of their head.

But family is forever, even when they’re out to get you. My brother-in-law could tell you I almost killed him with a two-by-four once and he still loves me (most of the time, anyway). The worst part of that incident was that it was such an insanely random accident that I couldn’t stop laughing (how awful is that?). We were throwing scrap wood in a dump truck and I couldn’t quite throw the boards over until my dad opened the side door for me. How was I supposed to know that Blake had opened the door on his side? Out of all the places that board could have gone, it found him and I heard a thunck! and a groan. I still say he was lucky; people in my family tend to die from odd things. (He could have been like my great-uncle Birdine Fendley who died from a chicken peck on the toe.) I felt awful about it and apologized, but it was a while before he would talk to me. A few weeks later, he almost cut my fingers off with an auger he left me to hold, so I figured we were even.

Cary Grant wasn’t the first choice for the lead role in Arsenic and Old Lace, but I can’t imagine anyone else able to be funny and completely charming at the same time. There’s just something about Grant’s personality that shines through. He’s a man that doesn’t take himself too serious and can roll with the punches. Like me, he seems to attract trouble without noticing until it’s too late. Having Boris Karloff for a brother didn’t worry him until he was tied to a chair. Your brother is a big, tall, Frankenstein’s monster-looking dude, but no…you help the lunatic who’s tying you to a chair. It’s classic trouble that I completely understand. As many times as my older sister tricked me into losing at card games, you think I wouldn’t play anymore, but nope, still can’t seem to figure out how she wins. Best guess—she cheats. Arsenic and Old Lace will do each Halloween, the rest of the year I guess for my entertainment, I’ll have to go visit my sister and hide in her closets.

Happy Fall!